3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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