Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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