If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
