after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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