Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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