therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
