No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
