i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
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