Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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