So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
