I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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