So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
