You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
