I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
smell my finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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