Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
