Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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