We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
