The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
