You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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