When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Just puked most of my soul out..
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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