im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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