I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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