i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
