I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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