yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Randomize
