An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
