I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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