Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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