8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
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You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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