dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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