my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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