Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
