I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
