When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Sorry about my life...
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
