I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
