I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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