And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
