I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
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