I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
