The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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