Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
