How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
