Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize
