I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
