turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize