ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
