Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
