And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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