if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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