I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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