Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
