Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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