im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Found your dick twin last night
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
