It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
