I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
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At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
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Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
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