Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
We got so high we made milksteak
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize