physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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