I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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