fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
My pussy is not your playground.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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