I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Randomize
