Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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